Exhibition text.
Helicopters (also known as whirlycopters, retarded windmills,
hellcopters and, less commonly, “useful flying machines”) do not
exist. This is because they were obviously invented by a retard
(Taylor Freisen) - no, not Leonardo Da Vinci - Michelangelo
Antonionioni. They are an elaborate lie created by the battle pelican
conspiracy in order to mask their own existence. Years ago, the grand
pelican warlord Steven Seagal believed that the humans were becoming
dangerously close to aware of the master pelican race and began to
fill the world with helicopter propaganda in order to throw the humans
off of the trail.
To any halfway intelligent human, however, it is obvious that
helicopters do not, and cannot, exist. All one needs to come to this
conclusion is a simple understanding of physics and the dynamics of
flight. Flight is an illusion created by either a vigorous toss from a
battle pelican (see: airplanes) or a complicated series of pulleys and
levers, originally developed by David Blaine in 1776. The battle
pelican theory however is heavily dependent on the shape of the object
being thrown, and the use of a runway whereas the system developed by
David Blane, clearly does not exist. While the unexistence of the
‘helicopter’ is debated, a conversation between the tent people
resulted in a crashing of a chopper into the building killing many
ambassadors and detonating the nuclear stockpile hidden underneath.
The tent people have since been relocated to lust gallery in the
second district of vienna. Come and celebrate the opening of the
Vienna Embassy on the 30th of August, 19:00.